Yikes, haven’t written a legit journal in a month, clear sign I’ve been too much in my head! I use my journal as an observing ego tool, and not journaling is a clear signal that I’m not particularly interested in exposing my slovenly nature! Not that I’ve been particularly egregious, but I have been dragging my feet on the creative process, and that’s got to stop toot sweet. Continue reading Journal – 6/14/15: Noir, Dreams & Change
Change is hard under the best of circumstances, not surprising given how relentless we are in sabotaging ourselves (or is that just me?). In my wrap-up post for my last set of goals, I mentioned the old “why am I doing this” Demon, and a friend said she’d like to hear more about what I meant with this term. Her question made me realize that I intuitively know what it means, but haven’t ever said it out loud, or bothered to explain it. Continue reading Noodling: The “Why Am I Doing This” Demon
Recap and Look Ahead
I’ve had a few goal sets that rocked my world, changed paradigms for me, this wasn’t one of those. If I was to use a sports analogy this was less Tom Brady and more a journeyman third-string back-up – sturdy and dependable, but nothing sexy.
I’m still shaking off the existential heebie-jeebies I got from reading “Going Clear”, but it did get me thinking about how common it is for us to “surrender power” – to family, to friends, to employers, cult leaders – pretty much anybody. Even more crazy, we’re more likely to give up power to people that treat us badly, as long as they seem to believe their point of view more strongly than we do ours. Continue reading Psych-Hack: Kill Your Ghosts
If you’ve been reading along, you know that I have ambitions to be someone who makes their living off the art he creates.
I decided to lead with novels because I love writing them, and creating visual art is harder to squeeze into the extra moments afforded by my life of corporate prostitution. Continue reading Noodling: Quo Vadis with Twitter?
In the Moment
I realized when I started to write this, that I’m looking past this current set of goals to the next. Which is the LAST thing I need to do. On one hand, the simply act of setting and tracking goals has been good for me. On the other, I’ve fallen far short of the kind of focus and intensity I demand of myself (I’m not talking superhuman levels, just that sense that I’ve extended myself beyond comfort).
I sit here on a Saturday afternoon, reveling in getting all my life minutia squared away, and wanted to a moment to reflect. It’s a brilliantly lovely day, with a hint of the swamp-blanket soon to cover the region till September and for some reason it got me thinking “hey, aren’t you supposed to journal today?”. (Yes, my mind works that way, I just roll with it.) Continue reading Journal – 5/16/15: Dull Humans, Order and a Rant
Some passions die a natural death, while others are allowed to languish, and forgotten. I’ve been thinking about the idea of passion lately, in part because of a realization I had related to my current set of goals, but mostly noticing I just wasn’t feeling it. Continue reading Noodling: Dormant Passions
With two-weeks left on this goal set, I’m back in a productive groove, so I think the primary purpose (of these goals) has been met. But I was WAY off on my goal formulation for my creative projects – I chide my clients and others for cutting corners on the “thinky” part of goal setting, so it’s only fitting I out myself! I set the goal intellectually – it was what I “should” do – leaving out the all-important emotional motive.
How my day starts: first thing I check is if I’m still breathing, if yes – everything else is gravy. Because it’s challenging, the act of living delights me, knowing it’ll end just adds a zesty element of mystery. Which has got me thinking, and when I think, I do it here!
I began writing this on an overcast Saturday morning, a cool breeze reaching me past the pollen coated windowsill (which I’ve since scrubbed clean) – I immediately got distracted. I did some chores, talked with friends, ran some errands, ran to the rescue of an old four-footed friend, and now it’s a sunny Saturday early evening. Not the day I had planned, but a good one. Continue reading Journal – 5/9/15: Gratitude, Skin and Ultron