My mind is burning, like I doused it with Habanero juice. A self-inflicted hamster wheel of point/counterpoint, a precursor to decision. Doubt, fear, second-guessing all a smokescreen designed to keep me in comfort. And comfort is the last thing I need. Continue reading Decision
Sick Days: The Art of Wallowing
What fresh hell is the summer cold? You can’t ignore it, but it’s also the lowest rung of the minor leagues of illness – real, but nobody’s taking it super seriously.
I write this late on a Sunday morning, I have a call at 10:30 then I’m off to visit my parents. I have the terrible feeling that elves stole into my home last night and replaced my lungs with filthy, wet towels. If I had to describe how I feel, the best thing I can come up with is I feel like an electric screwdriver left unplugged too long – I can turn, but I ain’t screwing nothing anytime soon. Continue reading Sick Days: The Art of Wallowing
Journal – 6/30/15: Plans, Flags & Murdertown
Been two weeks since my last post, haven’t been happy with the “authorial voice” I’ve been using (which led to a lot of second-guessing, which led to a lot of not writing). A lot of my ongoing topics revolve around me living a “decision-based life”, which can sound kind of arch and consultant-y, when all I’m trying to do is illustrate that like any philosophy it applies to everything or nothing and that it’s a continuous process. Continue reading Journal – 6/30/15: Plans, Flags & Murdertown
Journal – 6/14/15: Noir, Dreams & Change
Yikes, haven’t written a legit journal in a month, clear sign I’ve been too much in my head! I use my journal as an observing ego tool, and not journaling is a clear signal that I’m not particularly interested in exposing my slovenly nature! Not that I’ve been particularly egregious, but I have been dragging my feet on the creative process, and that’s got to stop toot sweet. Continue reading Journal – 6/14/15: Noir, Dreams & Change
Noodling: The “Why Am I Doing This” Demon
Change is hard under the best of circumstances, not surprising given how relentless we are in sabotaging ourselves (or is that just me?). In my wrap-up post for my last set of goals, I mentioned the old “why am I doing this” Demon, and a friend said she’d like to hear more about what I meant with this term. Her question made me realize that I intuitively know what it means, but haven’t ever said it out loud, or bothered to explain it. Continue reading Noodling: The “Why Am I Doing This” Demon
90 Day Transition: Final Report
(Read the overview for the basics of this 90 day push.)
Recap and Look Ahead
I’ve had a few goal sets that rocked my world, changed paradigms for me, this wasn’t one of those. If I was to use a sports analogy this was less Tom Brady and more a journeyman third-string back-up – sturdy and dependable, but nothing sexy.
Psych-Hack: Kill Your Ghosts
I’m still shaking off the existential heebie-jeebies I got from reading “Going Clear”, but it did get me thinking about how common it is for us to “surrender power” – to family, to friends, to employers, cult leaders – pretty much anybody. Even more crazy, we’re more likely to give up power to people that treat us badly, as long as they seem to believe their point of view more strongly than we do ours. Continue reading Psych-Hack: Kill Your Ghosts
Noodling: Quo Vadis with Twitter?
If you’ve been reading along, you know that I have ambitions to be someone who makes their living off the art he creates.
I decided to lead with novels because I love writing them, and creating visual art is harder to squeeze into the extra moments afforded by my life of corporate prostitution. Continue reading Noodling: Quo Vadis with Twitter?
90 Day Transition: Week 10 Report
(Read the overview for the basics of this 90 day push.)
In the Moment
I realized when I started to write this, that I’m looking past this current set of goals to the next. Which is the LAST thing I need to do. On one hand, the simply act of setting and tracking goals has been good for me. On the other, I’ve fallen far short of the kind of focus and intensity I demand of myself (I’m not talking superhuman levels, just that sense that I’ve extended myself beyond comfort).
Journal – 5/16/15: Dull Humans, Order and a Rant
I sit here on a Saturday afternoon, reveling in getting all my life minutia squared away, and wanted to a moment to reflect. It’s a brilliantly lovely day, with a hint of the swamp-blanket soon to cover the region till September and for some reason it got me thinking “hey, aren’t you supposed to journal today?”. (Yes, my mind works that way, I just roll with it.) Continue reading Journal – 5/16/15: Dull Humans, Order and a Rant
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