Journal – 01/26/15

BigDuck(Note: “Journal” entries are basically my diary – coherence not guaranteed.)

I’ve got three basic things on my mind tonight:

– Need to recommit to daily schedule

Kick-off second draft of “Hard Knox” novel

– Decide if I’ve got a “Kobayashi Maru” work situation




You and I both know that half-assed commitments make for half-assed results. I’m particularly prone to being slothful and slovenly when I don’t keep an eye on myself, and today was a good example. I was to mark my return to daily exercise after a two-week sickout,this did not come to pass. It was cold and rainy, I buckled, no excuses. Armed with this knowledge I’ll hit the sack on time, wake on time (3:45), if it snows I’ll do yoga at home.

Hard Knox

I have three things that need to happen Mon-Fri: edit, workout, work. It’s not nuclear physics, but it’s very easy to get off task. I have a weird psychological trapdoor I fall through when I’m not diligent, and it goes something like “The fat coin I make from corporate prostitution is right there, the potential my creative works have for keeping me in chow is way over there someplace, let me focus on the low hanging fruit”. If I wanted to be a member of the lumpen proletariat, this would be fine. However I’ve written two novels and intend to write many more, and need to keep a roof over my head in the mean time (not to mention not keeling over from a coronary from lack of exercise) – so I just need to drop the hammer and get to work. I was able to sustain this schedule for months prior to my two weeks of ill’in, need to prove it again.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K

I had an unfortunate realization at the office today, basically that what I thought was a “winnable” challenge could potentially be the opposite. Certain corporate cultures are simply too committed to “not change” to entertain even the most minor or changes. The thing I do is change things, so even though I could burrow in like a tick and keep sucking out the cash, I have a feeling it’s time to put an exit strategy in place. Bums me out – these are great people and I’d love to help them succeed, but (and I know this sounds like bullshit, but seriously it’s how I think) I don’t think I can add value and that’s my deal with everyone.