Wednesday May 31: Day 31

It's actually Saturday, the 3rd, so I'm freakin' five days behind on this thing, need to start up a new sheet for June. Here's hoping I'll be a bit more consistent.

Tuesday May 30: Day 30

Jeez, this journal is just not getting the attention it deserves, too many things going on but it's all good.

Monday May 29: Day 29

Sweet! Heard from my Nephew Ellory, and at least one human in my family is reading this thing, thanks pal, it means a lot to know you're peeking in.

Another kick-ass day, but it's 9:30 and back to work tomorrow, so I'll give ya' a better post when I'm back on "normal" time.

Dig life people, it's short, and you'll be pissed if you spend it without valuing it.

Sunday May 28: Day 28

Bodacious good times, got did my first long ride in a long time, well "long" may be overstating it a bit. But 12 miles was just about as far as I could make it, I swung by the gym after and made it eight sets into my delt/arm routine, and turned around and walked right back out. I was busted up, and it wasn't worth trying to grit my teeth through it. When I hit the suicide hill (the last one before I cruise home) I had to talk myself out of walking the bike up the hill with each peddle pump, and I felt ridiculously pleased with myself. Hit X-Men when I got home, big, silly fun and the theater was packed at 3:30, I freaking' loved it. Stuffed my yap with Nachos and Diet Coke, and just let the whole "long weekend" feeling wash over me.

Man, if I felt any better they'd make me take a blood test.

Saturday, May 27: Day 27

Sometimes the best days sneak up on you, unannounced and revelatory. Today was one of those days, the things that make me happy aren't particularly extravagant in nature, you'd think I'd have more of these but it's been a long time.

Started the day off taking care of business, laundry, apartment clean and a particularly bodacious 2.5 hour combo workout. The Kitten (for anonymity's sake, the "new woman" bringing smiles will be referred to as "The Kitten" or simply "Kitten") has been feeling poorly, and I expected our evening get together to be essentially a quick visit to enjoy the company, then I'd tuck her in and hit the road. She called to ask, very sweetly I noticed, if I could pick up some water for her on my way.

I tossed my copy of "The Wisdom of the Buddha" on the front seat (she's interested in meditation, and I thought she'd like it) I rolled out and hit Giant for the water, there were a lot of pinwheels and flags on display for Memorial Day but it was the "Super Bubble - with five bubble makers" that struck me as the thing a pretty girl feeling poorly needed.

When I got to her place, she looked a lot perkier than I expected, and my small gifts made her smile. This girl gives good hug, and we sat on the patio with her on my lap, blowing bubbles, enjoying the caress of the breeze and each other. She's feeling restless, been cooped up, wants out. We talk about many things we can do, dinner, go to a dog park, visit Terra Christa (a shop for spiritual gifts that reminds me a lot of some of my favorite comic shops). Rolling Thunder's in town, this Kitten loves her some Harley, and every time the throbbing exhaust roar rolls by, her head cocks to the sound and I can see the movie playing in her head of open road freedom, it's sweet. Of course, all I've got is a banged up Ranger, but it looks good with her in the passenger seat.

We decide to hit Terra Christa to start, and if you've ever been around somebody who's passionate about sharing the things important to them, you know it's a pleasure. She buys me a small gift, puts herself into it and gives it to me, and I do the same for her. It's in my pocket now.

We meet a Bichon Frise in the parking lot, the Italian owner distressed that she can't bring the puppy with her as she can in Italy, her husband and daughter seem bored. The weather is sweet, the air is sweet with grilled meat and sugar, there's a small carnival a couple of blocks down, we have to see it. I see things, The Kitten feels things, it's a good combo. We peek inside the marooned caboose I've seen a million times but never noticed, we see the merry-go-round filled with unsmiling kids, we see hoards of pre- and just-teens with the patented indifference of the age etched in their faces. I'm having a blast. We check the food stands, decide not to dabble leaning towards a proper meal soon, a mini-basketball rolls toward me. The Kitten eggs me on to hit the tiny basket on the Verizon van, and instantly, it's vital I hit a shot. Luck is with me, and I like the look on her face when I sink one.

We're heading down the road, and she asks if I want to see the dog park, I do. There's four puppies and three women, I'm gettin' no play from the dogs. We talk to the pregnant woman, and the older woman with the nice dog, I'm grinning like an idiot. We get some recommendations on where we can grab some ribs, Famous Dave's seems to be the place, I pay no attention to the directions given. I know I'll find it, I do.

Good, sloppy eats. Raul is working the tip, good gift of gab, seems like a good kid. Looking at Kitten is like eating potato chips, tasty and hard to stop. Chatting, flirting, playing, chowing, some of my favorite things.

POST TAKING TOO LONG TO WRITE - Will revisit and finish soon.

Friday, May 26: Day 26

Jesus, missed another post, rough day at the office. Still, all in all, didn't miss any of my morning workouts, so feeling pretty good. And really looking forward to having a day off, it'll be the first one since I returned to the working world and I'm gonna' milk it for everything it's worth.

Thursday, May 25: Day 25

Belief.

I seem to find myself surrounded by people of late who are focused on the object of belief, primarily in the spiritual realm. I'm also noticing that the strong impulse to the metaphysical is often accompanied by a distrust of the physical, which in some ways conflicts with MY belief in the sacred human. I've come to a nutty place that's a hybrid of Aurelian stoicism, Buddhist beliefs on energy, Nietzschian demythologizing and old school Deism. And to sum it all up, at core is that God gave us all the gifts we're gonna' get at birth, and it's our job to uncover them or ignore the sacred human and live a life missing the target. But that's just me, I've seen all of the major religious mysteries work well for at least a few folks, the common denominator appears to be the rigor brought to the spiritual endeavor.

Anyway, life is pain baby, and once you internalize that then you can really enjoy the pleasures life has to offer. Speaking of pain, aerobic training is all very nice and neccsessary, but if I don't get some molecular dislocation soon I'm gonna' bust.

Wednesday, May 24: Day 24

Spacing out the posts, I think I'm mad at myself for missing my evening workouts, perhaps "embarrassed" would be more accurate. At least I'm hitting my morning gigs.

Tuesday, May 23: Day 23

Missed the post, work is a killer, must remember why I returned. Look at checking account!

Monday, May 22: Day 22

Okay, I tried to monkey around with my schedule this past week, and it's obvious to me I can't give myself the freedom during the week to do anything but what I've set out to do with my Fitness Goals. I appear to be hyper-sensitive to the food/sleep cycle I've set up, and blowing off one thing or another, or trying to weasel on one of the elements leads to a breakdown in my process for days. So, as much as I'd like to be "spontaneous" it's just something the people around me need to accept, and hopefully encourage.

So, that being said, I need to hit the rack early tonight to try and get my rest cycle back on track.

Oh, and have I done a goddamn thing on the paintings or novel? Why, no, no I haven't! But seriously, that's why I do this journal, it's one thing to say to yourself "gotta work on that novel", but when you can see that it's been 21 days since you did squat, it has a bit more power.

Peace out my babies.

Sunday, May 21: Day 21

Late post, day was spent being exhausted from missed sleep, and had a zillion errands, made meals for the week, laundry, shined my shoes, basically every boring maintenance activity you can think of.

Saturday, May 20: Day 20

Spaced out the post, had a nice dinner and evening with the Kitten, nice day.

Friday, May 19: Day 19

Hmmm. Interesting, very interesting. It's nice to be intrigued, in an increasingly less than intriguing time, but intrigue is a double edged sword to be handled with care. Don't mean to be cryptic, but it's appropriate to my mood.

Oh, and for those in the know, time prediction correct, however no conversion.

Thursday, May 18: Day 18

Jumpin' Jesus on a stick, why, WHY do people feel compelled to crash into each other IN FRONT of me on the way home? There's just as much room BEHIND me, and it wouldn't inconvenience me.

Quick note, don't know if you ever checked your credit scores and credit files, but I did recently, and for something that is used to under-gird a huge portion of our economic engine it's got some pretty crappy data. I mean, seriously, on one my entire employment history seemed to revolve around working at casino's in Vegas (which might be kind of cool, but I haven't done it). Another had me working currently for Amtrak, which I left 15 years ago. People wonder why they should be worried about unfettered government access to all their records, data mining is only as good as the all too human code-monkeys who execute the systems, and the potentially lunk-headed analyst who draw conclusions.

Whatever, I had a long day at the salt mines, and I gotta' get my ducks in a row for tomorrow's early meeting. Peace out all my homies.

Wednesday, May 17: Day 17

Damn, forgot to post again. Believe me, you missed nothing. But I must say, "sunny, warm" is much more of a motivation enabler than "rainy, cold".

Dig life.

Tuesday, May 16: Day 16

Remind me again why I work? Oh, yeah, cuz' I haven't figured out another way to live the fat life without it. Well, people, I'm doubly dedicated to finding that alternative, the novel is the biggest object to hurl at that, and the sales process for that is long, I need to drop the hammer and get the manuscript completed and ready for submission.

It's 7:43 pm, and since I'm here typing this gibberish, you can conclude (correctly) that I'm not at the gym. Got held up at the office with a lot of last minute shenanigans, and by the time I got my gear on it was already 7:00, and I'm beat as it is so I'll hit it tomorrow in the hope I can blast off from the office on time.

And I need to get some other things up to date, random money things and apartment clean up, so I'll hit the rack around 9:30 and get some decent shut-eye so I can hop quick, like a bunny, to the gym in the morning!

Monday, May 15: Day 15

I haven't been dreaming that I can recall, and that's a bit annoying, big daddy loves him some dreams. It may have to do with how fast I crash when I do the two-a-day workouts, whatever the reason, I'll need to experiment a bit and see if I get any wacky nocturnal mind-movies.

Had a good lift tonight, though there was a major crash in energy during the last two exercises, if this recurs, I'll start to dose with amino's mid-workout to keep myself jacked.

And speaking of "crashes", once again I made the mistake of hitting the underground Safeway for some milk and yogurt (oh, alright, and some Captain Crunch too...yeah I'm just sabotaging the benefits I could be getting, but goddamnit it was half price!) and once again waited in a line reminiscent of Ellis Island in the early years of last century. I hate, HATE, wasting time and few things are as wasteful as the time spent in line at grocery stores that refuse to staff themselves.

Dream.

Sunday, May 14: Day 14

A Happy Mother's Day to ya'll out there. Had a nice lunch with my Mom and Pop who were in town sort of unexpectedly, and I fear I wasn't the best company. Not "bad" company mind you, just wasn't able to focus on the moment, lot of ideas whipping around my noggin.

Primary among my thoughts was that the first two weeks of the old "Target:2006" have been a little mixed from a results perspective. There's a fine line between being overly critical, and not being critical enough, but the bottom line it I haven't had a significant chunk of creation in the two weeks. A lot of nibbling at the edges, but not what I think is the minimum of six hours. A lot of this I'm chalking up to fatigue (tied to not eating right, nor hitting the sack consistently), and this week needs to be the test of that.

So, as elementary as this sounds, this week's focus is "eat right, work out, and get some sleep". The television is the obvious enabler in all of this, so there needs to be a harsh 9:00 pm shut down, watch only recorded content (VCR or DVD), use music and reading as the wind-down.

Saturday, May 13: Day 13

Interesting day, had a good lift, and caught up with some of my neighbors so all in all time well spent. I did have a ponderous volume of laundry, which given the sketchy nature of some of the machines led to a slightly longer grudge match with the linens. But you can't beat clean sheets.

I do need to learn the value of taking measurements though, I made a spontaneous purchase of a small fan for my bathroom, and now it looks like a Cessna landed in there. I'll re-purpose it later, but for the nonce, it's a pretty conspicuous remembrance of ignorance.

Had an interesting chat with neighbor Paige, who was getting ready to entertain a girlfriend turning 30, and we discussed what it is about that particular moment that tends to freak people out. I'll have to meditate on it a little more, but wanted to make note of it here to remind me to write a bit more on the subject. This culture's increasingly perverse perception of age tends to speak to an overall infantalization of our overall discourse, and as much as it disturbs me, it's important to get a handle on.

Friday, May 12: Day 12

Okay, so I'm writing this Saturday morning, I'm just embarrassed I didn't get around to the last two posts. I dawdled at the office too late last night, and by the time I made it home lethargy edged out ambition, and as you can see by the grid at the right the last two days are less than a testament to my steely determination. However, every time I alter my approach to time, it takes about three weeks to stabilize. I'm headed to the gym now to hit the delts and sweat it out, and get my head lined up to make some art this weekend. Toodles.

Thursday, May 11: Day 11

Blowing off post. Morning workout, evening, not so much.

Wednesday, May 10: Day 10

Whoa nellie, this was just one of those days work-wise, and it got capped by micro-jam on the way home. The micro-jam is characterized as traffic that adds 45 minutes and under, the macro-jam needs no explanation.

The eagle-eyed reader will note that I haven't been at the gym the last two days. I was crazy-exhausted yesterday because I don't think I ate 400 calories all day, not on purpose just a nutty day, and had only about six hours sleep. And for all of you thinking of starting a regular exercise program, DO NOT underestimate the importance of proper fueling and rest. Seriously, I thought I'd taken a hit of X when I got home yesterday.

Today is really just me thinking my achilles could benefit from two days of rest.

Goddamn this journal is boring! I've got to get my head out of the weeds (metrics, tracking, blah, blah), and pull up to see the forest. I'm excited about novel, I've been picking at it the last two day with the goal of having a huge Sunday. I appear to have lost the sketches I had for my paintings, which may turn out to be a good thing, but I hate spacing stuff like that out.

Back on track tomorrow, I'll keep ya' posted.

Tuesday, May 9: Day 9

Uh oh, forgot to post.

Monday, May 8: Day 8

Good god, I'm beat. This is the first day the two a day workout felt too brutal, but this has a lot to do with the fact that I spaced out two meals of my six, and it's really slammin' me. Time to hit the rack and soak up some rejuvenating sleepy.

May flights of angels sing you to your rest.

Sunday, May 7: Day 7

Hey my babies, met a very interesting (and kitty) woman at dinner tonight, and I'm looking forward to seeing her again. Or, as Frankenstein would say"girl soft, girl smell good".

Didn't get the momentum I wanted on the artwork, kind of halting steps, and I think I'll try to drop the hammer in tiny chunks during the week to see if I can create some mojo going into next weekend. I left my character, Kat, fixing for a scrap three months ago and she's still standing in that parking lot, freezing her little tuchas off and I owe it to her to let her kick some ass. Feeling a little distracted, my date did a good job of marking me with her scent, need to shake it off and at least write a sentence in the novel.

Mmmmm girl soft. Peace out.

Saturday, May 6: Day 6

EDITORIAL NOTE: I've noticed these posts haven't been as fun as my previous journals, but this has been a shake-out week for me "Target:2006" activities, and I'm just working out the kinks. Promise, more hijinks and less analysis in the weeks to come!

Okay people, this week, including today has really been about getting my physical act together. One last activity will be maximum lifts to track strength gain, which'll be a little tricky without a training partner, but I'll wing it. Also, I'm taking the daily weight watch out of here, and doing a monthly body mass track instead, daily tracking is too subject to variation.

Oh, and good god, I took my "before" photo's today and baby, that's some harsh reality. My love handles are more like passion-bumpers, there are things going on back there that just boggle my mind. The only way those things go public is when there's been some serious improvement, little kids might see it and get all scared about turning 30.

And my best bud Todd celebrates his birthday today, had a great chat with him and sounds like things are going well for him out in the desert. Okay, seriously, tomorrow I'll start turn this into a more fun journal, should have all the kinks worked out of my approach and I can just focus on all the wacky shenanigans I see around me.

Friday, May 5: Day 5

Had to monkey around with my schedule a bit, I ran some errands in lieu of the lift tonight, and beyond that I'm beat.

Need to remember my pal Todd's birthday tomorrow, and I've got a full slate for the next couple of days. The weekend is where the rubber meets the road with my little "Target:2006" vision, and I need to get an early start, so ya'll people enjoy and I'll catch up with you tomorrow.

Thursday, May 4: Day 4

Cubicle snippet: "And then the guy's, like, eeeuuwwww". I wondered past this little aural morsel on my way to my own square workspace, and it sort of clung to my imagination like a real life SAT question. I kept filling in all of the potential blanks and never without disturbing results. I like my work a little less interesting.

Anyway, NOTE TO SELF: When you don't go to be on time, it's hard to get up on time. I took my Wednesday night off with a little too much gusto, staying up late to take in South Park and the result was me staring at the clock at 6:30 this morning trying to figure out why it didn't say "5:30". Long story short, didn't make the morning aerobics, so I had to do double duty tonight, and it's been a long time since I did two hours straight, and I'm feelin' it tonight.

Find fun my people, and I see ya' tomorrow.