Thursday, October 28: Week 13

Good lift today, felt good and tight. Another sad, sad day of neglect for the novel. I have to make something happen, whether it's a week of visual art to break the cycle, or maybe chaining myself to my chair so I can't wander about the apartment twiddling my thumbs. Whatever. I'm getting a robust appreciation for that scene from "The Shining" with the writer going slowly mad writing "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy" over and over hundreds of pages. Good thing I don't have an axe, or a family of handy victims around, might get me in trouble.

I've reached a point in the novel that is very easy, and yet I can't get off the dime. Well, it's early in the evening yet, so I'll get back to it and I might salvage this day. Toodles.

Wednesday, October 27: Week 13

I must be experiencing some low level depression, cuz ol' Uncle Greg ain't functioning at maximum capacity. Thinking about it, I think the business meeting I had last week may be a contributing factor. I was concerned about just this issue, the issue of personal identity, when I retired and it looks like it has started to manifest itself. Just to give you a quick overview, I'm really good at what I do professionally, and people and institutions would tell me so rather frequently. Big ego boost. Well, now that I create full time, which I also kick ass at, there's no one to applaud, call with an emergency only I can solve, nor pay me, all of the small but continuous manifestations of "value" that we get from intercourse in commerce. This, this fugue I'm going through, is understandable but it is also a lack of mental toughness, as well as me not actively surrounding myself with people for support. Well, live and learn, all I know this feeling of not being focused, or driven perhaps is a better word, needs to get fixed or I'll blow my chance to really leverage this time.

Tuesday, October 26: Week 13

Harvest Moon fat in the sky, riding back from the gym wind encircling and enveloping me, how I love autumn.

All the structural work I've done on the novel has been helpful, although today was not highly productive from a word count. I want to have a day this week where I break through and break my best day mark.

Can't wait till the election, it's getting on my last nerve. I feel terribly outside the issues that seem to mean the most to the lumpen proletariat in the country. The strident nature, the absurd need to "be right" about things that, by their very nature, are conditions that ebb and flow throughout the lives of nation states, and as such do not have "answers" only approaches. Bah! Wish I was a junkie or alkie, it's times like these that a clear mind is a liability.

Monday, October 25: Week 13

Man, this was a funny day. It started out okay, I'm still fighting that cold thing, but I was feeling pretty good. Went to the gym for a quick aerobic bout. Then when I got back home, I sort of futzed around, did some dishes, checked email, etc. I picked up my Mickey Spillane book, having finished "I, The Jury" I had started "My Gun is Quick" and I thought, "hey what the hell, I'll read a few chapters and get some hard boiled inspiration"...next thing I knew it was 6:00 and I'd pretty much shot the day. As much as I'd like to feel bad about blowing off the day, I loved every second it, I can't remember the last time I just took a day and read a book in a sitting. Awesome feeling. However, as amusing as it was to play the landed gentry, reality is going to settle in quick and I need to kick-start the novel now.

Sunday, October 24: Week 13

Yikes, week 13 of my Odyssey, and for as frustrating as some of its been, it's the best thing I've ever done (from a selfish perspective). It seems I learn something new every day about myself, that would surely go unnoticed while still in the grind, some good some bad. But knowing yourself gives you the ability to push your boundaries, or not for that matter. I've been woefully inept during this period in terms of weight loss, I haven't lost shit, and it's no mystery why. It's about not paying attention to what goes in my yap, as well as, not preparing my meals in advance. Well, coulda woulda shoulda, time to walk the talk. So, weight loss will be the focus along with exercise and the novel, between now and the end of the year. Watch the "weight" box to the right to see if I'm doing anything!

Saturday, October 23: Week 12

Still feeling pretty punk, but I think this may be some kind of "thing" I'll have to deal with for awhile. Went to the gym and did some aerobic work, and it felt pretty good, with the exception of a dangerously full nose. Spent a good deal of time responding to some questions surrounding the Information Architecture gig I might be doing. I'd forgotten how difficult it is to write business speak, but like riding a bike, it just take a few "leverages" and "paradigms" to get back in the swing of gibberish.

It's about 6:00 pm as I write this, and I'll be doing some more structural work on the novel tonight, and I think tomorrow will be an excellent day. By the way, I read my first Mickey Spillane novel this week, "I The Jury" which he wrote in seven days. I can't say it was "good" but he creates strong characters fast, and I wanted to know what happened, so he definitely had something going. It was a real inspiration, simply due to how long it's been in print, and how quickly he wrote it.

Friday, October 22: Week 12

Can't shake this friggin' cold/flu thingy, it's really taking the zing out of my bod. Tried to workout and it was just sad, oxygen really plays a big role in the whole exertion thing and I just bagged it after about thirty minutes.

Did some more blueprint work on the book and it's shaping up nicely. Should be ready to get back to writing prose on Sunday, so I'll start tracking my metrics again.

Thursday, October 21: Week 12

Yeah, yeah, I've been gone awhile, but it's been a pretty good week. I met with some folks about doing some pick-up consulting for them, they're great guys and the client is good, so it'll be a good gig. The deals not inked yet, but would pop up sometime in the next couple of weeks if it's signed, so I need to kick major ass with the time between now and then.

Work on the novel proper ground to a halt, I was experiencing major writers block this past week and I went out for a walk to clear my head. I wound up at the same bookstore I mention in the post below. I was feeling very very low, really struggling with my relationship to the novel (and I'm sure muttering to myself under my breath, but no security was called) and at the end of the isle smack in the middle of the shelves with the cover facing me, was "The Weekend Novelist Writes a Mystery". It was a friggin sign! Anyway, like all such "how to" books, there were not magical secrets, but it really showed me some big holes in my process and I've been working on those in the past week. The biggest impact on my process is that I'm going from my proposed two draft cycle, to a quicker three draft cycle as recommended in the book. Its very liberating, and I'm far more confident of creating a kick-ass book with this new approach, and that's an amazing feeling.

The one thing that really got off track has been my lifting and exercise in general. I've only worked out once since my last post, and that needs to be addressed now. I have found that not "baring my soul" here on a regular basis, makes it easier for me to blow off such things, so I'll be here every morning from now on, even if its just to update the workout matrix.

Saturday, October 16: Week 11

Still feeling pretty punk. Couldn't take another day on the couch, so I dragged myself up, and tried to get functional. Didn't work, fever's gone, but feeling zoney. Grabbed my neighbor Chris, and went to see "Team America", pretty funny. Not as funny as "Shaun of the Dead", but funny. Chris had to score some cash, and the guys in line looked like they would take awhile, so I wondered around the corner to the Olesson's book store. Seeing all the covers reminded me how competitive writing is, how many good ideas get published and languish. George Carlin is appearing Tuesday to promote his book, and it strikes me as strange that someone as well known as Carlin will be appearing in this tiny space. You never stop working, that's for damn sure. Chris gets a call from his wife, Susan, and we meet her at the dog boutique "Woof" up the street. The whole idea of a doggie boutique give me the willies, and the reality of it doesn't help, I'm relieved as we leave. Back at home I think about being productive, but I make the mistake of sitting down, and my punk-feeling body takes over. I wind up watching "Superman", which I had intended to do when I heard of Christopher Reeve's death, and am pleased to find it more exultory than morbid. He appears to have been a truly good man, and he seems to have lived a good life, I'm glad he had a role like Superman for people to remember him by. Well, wish me well in my recovery, though now that I think of it a little flu ain't much to deal with.

Friday, October 15: Week 11

Oh brother, got a text message from my neighbor last night, which I'm sure she sent instead of calling to avoid waking me up. However, the message alert on my phone is like an air raid siren, so in addition to waking up, I was then confronted with functionality I forgot the phone possessed. I'd been asleep for about an hour, so I was still groggy, and it took me a good thirty minutes to figure out how to retrieve the message. My reward was a request to walk Gracie, my neighbor dog. Took forever to fall asleep, then after I walked Gracie, it became evident something was very wrong with my body. By 10:00 am I was face down on the couch, with my nose running like a faucet, and feeling like standing up was similar in effort to squatting 500. My head couldn't handle the stress of television images, so I read the day away, till I hit the sack. I feel like ASS! I better feel better tomorrow.

Thursday, October 14: Week 11

A good day today, I wasn't as productive numbers-wise on the novel, but was able to solve some logic problems in the text. Also, had a great day at the gym, deciding to go back to the two-a-day schedule I started with. However, I now ride my bike to the gym, instead of walkin' cuz that was just sucking up too much time.

Wednesday, October 13: Week 11

Horrid day today, spent most of it trying to convince myself that I suck, and that this whole novel thing is crazy. I believe this is commonly referred to as a crisis of faith, and I don't recommend it. I shook it off for the most part by around 6:00, after spending most of the day surfing the net, listening to commentary tracks on some film noir DVD's I got recently, and not exercising. Bleah! I think the lunch I had on Tuesday to discuss some consulting work is having a residual effect, which I can blame on my Catholic upbringing, making me question my inherent "value" as a human. Well, fuck that baby, daddy's back in the saddle and I'm gonna' ride this freedom horse till there ain't no more ride. I guess that's one of the lessons I'm learning, not that I haven't heard it a million times before, but freedom is a double edged blade and can be used for good or ill. Yesterday was most certainly ill. Like I said, Bleah!

Tuesday, October 12: Week 11

"Squirrels bark at my window, winter shuffles behind fall."

Yeah, squirrels bark, I sat here and watched one do it for over forty minutes. With each bark, his little tail would wiggle in time, it was terribly strange.

Anyway, It's no accident this is my first post in the month of October, but it just goes to show me how quickly time slips through your fingers if you don't pay attention. Too many things going on to get into right now, but I'm back in action, and will be in full production mode tomorrow. I did have lunch with a colleague from my old firm today, catching up primarily, but also to discuss possible work next month. I'm getting prematurely paranoid about cash, so I want to fluff up the coffers with a couple of gigs before the end of the year. Which is a hell of a lot closer than I'm comfortable with as we speak, I think my goal of having the novel completed by end of October isn't realistic, though I'm going to try my best to make it happen. Hard days ahead.