Haven’t updated this blog since Thanksgiving! Between ongoing corporate prostitution (which I’m thankful for, some pro’s can’t find work), finishing the last draft of Black Nouveau, standing up a Twitter presence I’m lucky I remember to tie my shoes. Whining aside, I’m committed to adding (even minimal) value and developing some sense of community online. This will include regular posts here, as well as whatever nonsense I generate on social media. Speaking of which, here’s what’s been on my mind the past couple of months:
Favorite:
Realization: I’d rather be a bad artist than an excellent content creator. Content fills space – art is the space.
Runner-up (tie):
Peace on Earth – if you have some extra brain cycles, deeply imagine what a world at peace would mean, what it would feel like, what could be done with all the resources (physical and emotional) focused on “not peace”. Then imagine what it would take to get there, who we would need to become, as individuals, as nations.
Horror show: Caught an accidental glimpse of myself in the mirror, after returning from the gym this morning – I looked like Dobby the house elf – clearly need more sleep and an haircut! Create a great weekend – be kind, be excellent!
On not being a knucklehead:
Current events: If your instinct in a moment of decision is that things should stay the same – rewire yourself – everything can improve, always, perfection is a fantasy.
Positive thought doesn’t require a universe devoid of cruelty, indifference and pain – only belief that there is value in taking action anyway.
Random thought: “I’ll be happy when ‘X'” is conditional happiness. Conditional happiness is a camouflaged form of suffering. In this context happiness is a state you never leave – so when something you desire deeply happens your happiness is enhanced, or elevated – not present or absent. (My apologies for “deep thinking” this early, this just occurred to me and wanted to jot it down – take with grain of salt, I am in a cubicle after all)
Random thought: Character isn’t a calendar function, it’s a decision function. You don’t age into character, you choose into it. There are a lot of old kids committed to finding the easy path, the short cut, never noticing they remain unchanged. (Just popped into my head – again, apologies for “deep thinking” at you so early, just hate losing these thoughts heading to the office!)
There’s a universe of difference between demanding excellence from yourself and being unkind to yourself, now that I think of it if you don’t do the former you’re doing the latter.
Random: I was just noticing the similarity between Napoleon Hill’s “Things That Make Men Rich” and the Buddha’s Seven Factors of Enlightenment (Mindfulness, Investigation, Energy, Rapture, Tranquility, Concentration, Equanimity) – whatever speaks to you, don’t procrastinate take action, and dig life!
Observation: Fortune 500 companies, Federal agencies and individuals tend to share the following trait – a powerful desire to experience the benefits of change without experiencing the discomfort of change. Don’t be a doofus – resisting change just exhausts you with no benefit, manage change and enjoy the ride!
People are like the air in your personal ecosystem – make sure it’s not polluted!
Word sketches:
Snippet: “Her eyes held his against his will, he couldn’t look away, he wasn’t sure if this bothered him or not. Sure she was beautiful, but he’d seen plenty of beautiful women. No, this was something different. This was more like the beauty of a panthers eyes, nature’s way of saying ‘enjoy the view, it’s the last thing you’ll ever see’.”
Snippet: “She’d weaken, allowing herself to hope, instinctively mistrustful of permanent hopelessness. But Frank, for all his good qualities, seemed incapable of conceiving an improved version of himself. In what passed for self-reflection he’d come to the conclusion that, yes, he was a neanderthal. But a perfect neanderthal.”
Observations & Anecdotes:
Once again getting my mind blown by the perfection of “Double Indemnity” – it’s like Caravaggio and Machiavelli had a violent, chain smoking baby – if you’ve never seen it and love film, get on it!
Barbara Stanwyck rocks. Saw the pre-code “Baby Face” the other night, a film packed with crazy, hard themes, hard times and hard, damaged people – through it all Stanwyck’s incandescent – check it out and see how crazy your great-grandparents were.
Dilemma: After asking how much I weighed, the toothless man turned rheumy eyes to mine and asked if I could help him out – he had two bottles, two singles and a fistful of coins. I don’t like encouraging self-destructive behavior, but in that moment I was still stuffed from a feast shared with my loving family, and he was looking for the only warmth he knows – I bought the Steel Reserve 40’s.
Public Library 6:59 p.m.: There’s an odd spectrum surrounding me tonight – the gamut runs from beautiful women to gnarly schizophrenics, and all points between – the cold, it seems, makes scholars of us all.
Subway 7:50 am: Youthful beauty can fade to reveal earned strength and resilience – or an unfinished human surprised by the inevitable, uncertain how to proceed. This subway is a nickelodeon of infinite dramas.
Public Library 6:45 p.m.: Sitting in the library, getting some extra writing in before facilitating tonight’s Meetup – It’s a pretty eclectic group packing the joint tonight, it’s like a John Waters movie up in here.
Subway 8:10 am: Mysterious glitches and mechanical gremlins caused both immobility and sporadic movement – stretching a 20 minute trip to a 40 minute one – with each false start and sputtering stop I see a woman becoming increasingly gripped by fear, anxiety and anger at the prospect of being late. I used to be that person, I have sense memory of that pathological state, and I will be damned if I ever feel it again – suffering is for suckers. Be kind, be excellent!
Still trying to shake the odd feeling “Nightcrawler” triggered in my lizard brain – great film but certainly not for all tastes. For a season that already includes “Gone Girl” it seems nihilistic narcissism is getting a proper vivisection by some talented film makers. Givin’ me the creeps!